thank God

From a journal i recently read (P= patient):

P12b developed immune thrombocytopenia and hemolytic anemia
on D+30 and D+36, respectively. Anti-platelet antibodies
were present, while his hemolytic anemia might be
mediated by isohemagglutinins directed against recipient
red cell antigens. Donor marrow had been plasma depleted,
so the source of anti-A and anti-B antibodies could be other
plasma containing products. Both resolved with IVIG.

P19 had delayed erythroid (D+35) and platelet (D+43) engraftment
with partial donor chimerism (66% on D+29). There
was a major ABO mismatch, the post-transplant blood
group was persistently of recipient type (O Rh+), and direct
anti-globulin test (DAT) was all along positive. However,
on D+78, platelet and Hb dropped to 10×109/L and 7.3 g/dL,
respectively. DAT remained positive, and broad specificity
auto-antibodies were identified in indirect anti-globulin test.
At the same time, he also developed hypertension, ascites,
raised serum creatinine, hypoalbuminemia, and nephroticrange
proteinuria, but without fever or neurological symptoms.
The overall impression was an overlap between
autoimmune hemolytic anemia and transplant-associated
thrombotic microangiopathy (TMA). He received two courses
of plasmapheresis followed by pulse methylprednisolone and
mycophenolate mofetil but response was suboptimal. Rituximab
375 mg/m2 weekly for four doses were then given.
Improvement in hematological and renal parameters was
observed after the third dose and normalized at 5 months
post-transplant. Upon last assessment, all patients had normal
hemogloblin level, platelet count, and MPV.

Sometimes I'm just thankful I'm normal.

heaven and hell

I stumbled upon this illustration of heaven and hell.

A man visited both heaven and hell. In hell, everybody was strapped to seats at a table and everybody only had one arm, and at the end of this long straight arm is a spoon like appendage. In front of the people was laid out a huge feast of food, but everybody was angry and going hungry because they could not feed themselves with that arm.
The man was then brought to heaven. He was shocked that everybody had the same spoon like appendage but everybody was happy and cheerful, feeding each other.

So if you want to experience heaven, you got to first be a person willing to be part of the group and share. There is no guarantee that people will reciprocate but you have to be the first to make the move, feed your neighbour, not only physical food, but soul food: a listening ear, a reassuring hug, a word of encouragement. And spritual food: prayer. In this world we want guarantees. For the stuff we buy, and even our own lives are guaranteed in the form of insurance. But no one can assure you of a wonderful heaven-on-earth future or for that matter, present. Its up to you to work it out.

Give and it will come back to you. Thats the kingdom of God.

Signboard

I have friends and family whom I respect and look up to. But people are not infallible. They will fail and sometimes when they do, I question and ask why they are not more like Christ, growing from glory to glory and being more perfect everyday. Why must they fail when its for ME. How dare they call themselves Christians, ‘little Christ’, when they are not as kind as him or as generous, or faithful or understanding. Its then when I realize I’m not perfect myself, and why the church exists. Because none of us are perfect but together in the bond of love, love will cover a multitude of sin, and when we are gathered in one accord, it is the strengths that become obvious and not the weaknesses. Each one is to be like a signboard that you often see leading to a resort, each ad displays a beautiful picture of the beach, or dining room, or smiling waiters, or sunset. We all have a beautiful side but none have all. And a forlorn brother, travelling along life’s potholed lane, will look up and see these signboards all pointing towards paradise. The signboards are not paradise itself, but just a reflection of it. If you think the signboard is heaven, you are a fool and cheating yourself. The weary traveller is not interested in the ugly side of those signboards, but the hope it brings through its cheery picture and clear direction to get there. 1 km away!

Let me focus more on my own strengths and use it for God’s glory, and let me see the beauty of others pointing towards the source of all things. I will not put my hope and goals in men for like signboards, they are just outposts pointing towards paradise and are not infallible.

givers and hoarders

A person with not-enough mentality thinks:
- there is not enough food for everyone, I better pig out at the buffet table.
- there is not enough knowledge around, I better not share my ideas or tell my friends what I know
- there is not enough wealth in the world, I need to steal, kill, or in any other way accumulate for myself.

but who owns all the cattle in the field, or the gold and sliver?
Ikea got rich selling tables and chairs, but Ikea didnt make the tree grow although they may have planted the tree and fertilized the ground, God made the plant grow.
Tiffany's carved and molded that beautiful diamond ring but they surely didnt make the diamond or gold, in fact, science has found a way to make quick and cheap diamonds, but purist scoff it as fakes.

So man wants and uses materials that come from nature, from the earth, but yet fail to see who placed it there in the first place. God.

Don't people realize that in Gen 1:1 it says, in the begining, God...
yup, whatever it is, if you trace it back far enough, you end up conforming to the singularity of God.
And...
No, you don't trace back to monkeys. Scientist try to reason out and say it was evolution but Charles Darwin is simply wrong (someone must have paid him peanuts, imho).

And because God has placed life in this earth, whatever that you withold from it, but clench in your fist will die and dissapear, but whatever that you bury, invest, or plant in the earth will grow.

Give and it will come back to you....

The story of the boy with 5 loaves and 2 fishes. He gave.

I gave.
I gave to my church, to environmental causes, to mission work in disaster areas.
I gave time, knowledge, training, money.

...good measure, pressed down, and running over...

and I reaped.
my dictionary defines 'reaped' : to gather, as of natural products.
Yes, when you sow, its only a natural action for you to expect produce naturally returning.

I reaped a financially independant life from my parents since graduation 4 years ago.
I reaped friendships from different cities around the world.
I reaped scholarships, grants, publications; I have been a 'professional' student for the past 3 years and will be for the next 4 years - people actually pay me to study; how cool is that?
I reaped knowlegde with the countries I visited and the very diverse group of people I work with.
I reaped security, my parents are doing great, with my dad getting promotions when he should be retiring and mum really making a difference in people's lives through her ministry.
I reaped a loving and wise girlfriend to whom its about time I propose.

My 5 loaves and 2 fishes has multipled over.

stuck at God

I was trying to be studious and started reading a Bible commentary. Got stuck at 'God', at the first verse.

Genesis 1:1

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

A general definition of this great First Cause, as far as human words dare attempt one, may be thus given: The eternal, independent, and self-existent Being: the Being whose purposes and actions spring from himself, without foreign motive or influence: he who is absolute in dominion; the most pure, the most simple, and most spiritual of all essences; infinitely benevolent, beneficent, true, and holy: the cause of all being, the upholder of all things; infinitely happy, because infinitely perfect; and eternally self-sufficient, needing nothing that he has made: illimitable in his immensity, inconceivable in his mode of existence, and indescribable in his essence; known fully only to himself, because an infinite mind can be fully apprehended only by itself. In a word, a Being who, from his infinite wisdom, cannot err or be deceived, and who, from his infinite goodness can do nothing but what is eternally just, right, and kind.
(from Adam Clarke's Commentary, Electronic Database. Copyright © 1996, 2003, 2005, 2006 All rights reserved.)

I had to read that passage 3 times over to fully understand what the guy was writing. But here he is trying to describe what God is when he says 'indescribable in his essence'. Sounds like a futile exercise. A created being can never fully understand the creator, simply because you got to be on a higher level to create something, and whatever you create can never be above your intelligence level. Yet we sing songs like 'make me more like you', 'all of me for all of you'. Dude, you don't even know what the other side is like.
To me, it doesn't matter if God is very much or just a tiny bit more clever than me, the point is, He's above. Hey, an inch is as good as a mile right? What matters to me is that when I'm in trouble, he solves it. When I pray for forgiveness, He's ever ready to help me out.

Way truth life

John 14:6

6 Jesus said to him, I am the Way and the Truth and the Life; no one comes to the Father except by (through) Me.

AMP



But sometimes I feel like Jesus is in the way, and it’s all a lie. Sometimes I don’t get that breakthrough I want or feeling stuck in a rut, felling down and out. Its amazing what a little hormonal imbalance or lack of sun can do to your view of the world today. Then I have to sit down and ask, is God the God of all, or is he God at all? In this post-modernist society that we live in, its so yesterday to just be materialistic, people are saying that they are gods in their own right. To them its not God of all, but God et al. i.e. God and others. Yeah, there’s this God, but theres that other god, and another and another and even I am a god in my own right, being master of my own life.

And that’s why sometimes its good that God is in the way, because I stray from the truth and end up living a lie. He’s kind enough to come to my level to redirect me back to God. In actual fact, the only reason why I get to the Father is BY him, led one step at a time along the Way.

Wrapping things up

A friend made this interesting tid-bit known to me and I felt it is really interesting. How the book wraps up loose ends nicely.

In the beginning of Matthew:

Matt 1:23

23 "Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel, which means 'God is with us.'"

Holy Bible, New Living Translation ®, copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers. All rights reserved.

And at the end of that book:

Matt 28:20

20 Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age."

Holy Bible, New Living Translation ®, copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers. All rights reserved.

Just looking at those two verses in retrospect of reading the whole book, it gives us a different dimension to what Matthew was trying to achieve when writing that book. He starts by Israel longing for a messiah, then tells of Jesus’ walk on this earth mingling with men, and when He rose to heaven, it isn’t the end. His spirit lives on in every believer. It starts with a longing, then the fulfillment of that longing, but ends off best with a security that you will never lose it. Matt is a great writer.

new! new! new!

Acts 17:18-21
18 He (Paul) also had an encounter with some of the Epicurean and Stoic philosophers. Their reaction, when he told them about Jesus and his resurrection, was, "He's a dreamer," or, "He's pushing some foreign religion."
19 But they invited him to the forum at Mars Hill. "Come and tell us more about this new religion," they said,
20 "for you are saying some rather startling things and we want to hear more."
21 (I should explain that all the Athenians as well as the foreigners in Athens seemed to spend all their time discussing the latest new ideas!)
TLB

I was at the 52nd Nobel conference and listened to the top scientists and thinkers in the world on a particular subject. The first few lectures were historical and gave the listener an overview of what we currently know on the subject. Then the next few lectures were going to today's new discoveries, and then on to results that were fresh out of the lab and yet unpublished. In each of those talks, the speaker presented a new hypothesis or direction of research that the field should go to. There were moderators for each talk and people in the audience asked questions. Some were technical questions where others were more speculative. Many of them caused minor stirs with some of the crowd agreeing and others disagreeing. The moderator was delighted at the variance and declared they will have a good time debating such ideas the following day where there is a 2 hour slot for discussions. During the break, I was with my labmates sipping tea. They were talking about the lectures and commented that so and so's idea didn't really hold water, while the other guy's talk was missing such and such, but the last speaker did a good job and his speculations were good.

Looks like Mars Hill is still alive and well.

breaking

No one can be free of everything. If you are free from Satan, you are bound to God. If you are addicted to smoking, you could be free from coffee. Everybody has bad habbits.

I have had alot of time to self reflect this past week because there wasn't much to do at work since my boss was away, and I just got back so experiments were not fully up and running yet. And looking into the mirror of my mind and soul, I found it wasn't the model answer I was hoping for.

1 Cor 13:11-13
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, argued like a child; now that I have become a man, I have finished with childish ways.
12 For now we see obscurely in a mirror, but then it will be face to face. Now I know partly; then I will know fully, just as God has fully known me.
13 But for now, three things last — trust, hope, love; and the greatest of these is love.
CJB

There are things that in the past seemed right, but are actually wrong. There are things that were great in the past, but is now lagging. I wished I had done such and such, acted in a certain way, took a certain path, gave a particular answer. But the past is gone. The only respite I have is to label it as infant years, times bygone when I didnt know better. But now I do and now I should change.

But I promise you that I would say the same thing one year from now. Been there done that. Am I still a child? Why am I arguing with myself now like a child. I can't even tell myself to stop habits, or pick up beneficial activities. Why is my life still chained when i hold the key?

I can't trust myself. I dare not hope, and how could I love such a scoundrel?
Yet the greatest is love. Not mine, but God's. He loved me first. And this is where my argument breaks down. If God can love me, how can I not love myself? Are my standards higher than God's such that I reject myself on the basis that it doesn't meet up with my standards? If so I am saying that I am greater then God, and that's blasphemy. Its a baseless circular argument but you get the point.

And that is why these things last. Because they are the foundation, because everytime I fall and hit the floor, I'm lying flat on that foundation of love. And no matter how hard I fall, God's love will pick me up and make me whole again.

master

I just got news that my Master’s thesis is complete and have been accepted by the university. That means that I have successfully mastered that specific branch of science. I have read the literature on that science, have looked at the facts, made a hypothesis, tested it, and wrote up a thesis that extends that knowledge of science. And thus will be awarded a Master of Science: I have mastered that science, I have overcome it.

As I was thinking of the future of my education, about my doctoral thesis, and then Bible school, it would be great if I got a Masters in theology or Christology, or whatever-logy. Then I would have mastered theology, I would have mastered Christ!! That suddenly sounded abit wrong.

The world and Christ are always at odds with each other. The world says you have to master your destiny, your body, your spirit… all together now … oohhhmmmmm….

But Christ says follow me, my burden is light and my yoke is easy. Be under the shelter of my wings. Have the covering of God. Be led by the Holy Spirit. Now that sounds totally the opposite of what education I have received so far instill. In Christ, I am not to master over, but rather be mastered by. The world says clamour up to the top, conquer all! But Christ bends down to wash his disciples feet. The way up is by going down.

Am I ready to be mastered by the Holy Spirit, that whatever I am prompted I will obey and do? Will I obey the Word? That I not write my own thesis but fully rely on the Word of God? Will I debate and fight for my results to be recognized and published or will I say ‘be it unto me according to your promises’. Is there enough humbleness in me to be tested and stretched to my limits, instead of testing my own ideas and experimenting on things.

My ‘Masters of Science’ took me three years to complete, but it will take me a lifetime to achieve ‘Mastered by Christ’

Mission:

I remember recently reading an article about younger generation people who are just entering the workforce. Besides demanding higher wages, more incentives, etc, etc, the bosses interviewed also noticed that the applicants were asking for very precise job scope and objectives. One of those interviewed likened the job seekers to video game characters. In a video game, you start of each level with an objective; like collecting 5 items or killing the big boss, or solving this mystery. And as you go along, you solve harder and harder puzzles, collect rarer items and kill tougher enemies, while earning better rewards. It is said that the current generation don’t see a job so much as something to fill up the time between graduation and retirement, but more of an adventure so see how much one can accomplish or earn.
I felt that the Christian walk sounds alot like a video game too. You first log on to the game (salvation) and once you start playing, you‘re hooked for life. You start off level 1 with simple objectives: read the bible and pray everyday. And what’s the reward of doing that? You level up! (grow). Level 2: get active in church and join a ministry. Level 3: Bible study, serve more. Level 4: Bible school, mission work. Level 5: Lead other Christians. Completing level 5 gives you a reward:
1 Peter 5:2-4
2 Tend (nurture, guard, guide, and fold) the flock of God that is [your responsibility], not by coercion or constraint, but willingly; not dishonorably motivated by the advantages and profits [belonging to the office], but eagerly and cheerfully;
3 Not domineering [as arrogant, dictatorial, and overbearing persons] over those in your charge, but being examples (patterns and models of Christian living) to the flock (the congregation).
4 And [then] when the Chief Shepherd is revealed, you will win the conqueror's crown of glory.
AMP

In between, you can accumulate bonus points by the in-game’s member-bring-member scheme. If that member you brought in remains a player till the end of the game, you get a crown:
Phil 4:1
HEREFORE, MY brethren, whom I love and yearn to see, my delight and crown (wreath of victory), thus stand firm in the Lord, my beloved.
AMP

The game developers have also noticed bugs in during gameplay that tries to trick the characters into switching off the game console, and thus instantly logging them out of the game. Hence they have introduced a reward scheme for those who prevail against that glitch:
James 1:12
Blessed (happy, to be envied) is the man who is patient under trial and stands up under temptation, for when he has stood the test and been approved, he will receive [the victor's] crown of life which God has promised to those who love Him.
AMP

Besides the internal bugs that pops up now and then, there are also external factors that may influence the players to quit. Many gaming circles have motivation courses and one good program offers this advice for players who begin to lose interest in the long RPG game when some levels seem to take forever to pass and when they get stuck at certain points, unable to breakthrough:
1 Cor 9:25
25 Now every athlete who goes into training conducts himself temperately and restricts himself in all things. They do it to win a wreath that will soon wither, but we [do it to receive a crown of eternal blessedness] that cannot wither.
AMP

Concerning the toughest levels, discussion boards have been littered with rumours of a terrible setback that characters might face when choosing wrong moves; something like the snake’s tail at step-99 of the snake-and-ladder board game (oh, so retro). And I quote:
Rev 3:11
I am coming quickly; hold fast what you have, so that no one may rob you and deprive you of your crown.
AMP

And once you finish the whole game, you get a final crown:
2 Tim 4:7-8
I have fought the good (worthy, honorable, and noble) fight, I have finished the race, I have kept (firmly held) the faith.
8 [As to what remains] henceforth there is laid up for me the [victor's] crown of righteousness [for being right with God and doing right], which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me and recompense me on that [great] day
AMP

GAME ON!!

anti-Christian site

http://www.vexen.co.uk/religion/christianity.html

Quite a number of excellent arguments. Many of which I have no answer. Good to know what the thinkers are thinking, but don't dwell on them. Remember, it's up to YOU to work out YOUR salvation, not based on what some other guy's clever argument.

why are you hiding?

Gen 3:1-13
The serpent was the craftiest of all the creatures the Lord God had made. So the serpent came to the woman. "Really?" he asked. "None of the fruit in the garden? God says you mustn't eat any of it?"
2-3 "Of course we may eat it," the woman told him. "It's only the fruit from the tree at the center of the garden that we are not to eat. God says we mustn't eat it or even touch it, or we will die."
4 "That's a lie!" the serpent hissed. "You'll not die!
5 God knows very well that the instant you eat it you will become like him, for your eyes will be opened-you will be able to distinguish good from evil!"
6 The woman was convinced. How lovely and fresh looking it was! And it would make her so wise! So she ate some of the fruit and gave some to her husband, and he ate it too.
7 And as they ate it, suddenly they became aware of their nakedness, and were embarrassed. So they strung fig leaves together to cover themselves around the hips.
8 That evening they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden; and they hid themselves among the trees.
9 The Lord God called to Adam, "Why are you hiding?"
10 And Adam replied, "I heard you coming and didn't want you to see me naked. So I hid."
11 "Who told you you were naked?" the Lord God asked. "Have you eaten fruit from the tree I warned you about?"
12 "Yes," Adam admitted, "but it was the woman you gave me who brought me some, and I ate it."
13 Then the Lord God asked the woman, "How could you do such a thing?" "The serpent tricked me," she replied.
TLB

Man and woman. Two creations of God that are to compliment each other. One to lead, one to support, both cannot do without the other. If the man cannot direct the way how can the woman follow. If the man doesn’t protect, who else will against the serpent? Together they are stronger. Remember, a threefold cord is not easily broken. Three: man + woman + God.

Eccl 4:12
And though a man might prevail against him who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken.
AMP

God came to the garden looking for Adam, not Eve. Because he is supposed to be the man. But he failed. And males throughout the Bible and even today still fail. Because the first Adam sinned, all have fallen short of the glory of God. But the second Adam was there to restore all things. The first Adam was hiding from God when he realized he sinned. ‘The great cover up’ sounds a lot like what’s happening in the banking failure today (eg. Enron), the failure of morality in the name of freedom, the failure of families in the name of choice.
Right now I’m feeling like Adam. And I really thank God it’s now that I woke up and not later. It’s like missing the alarm clock that went at 7am and you wake at 720, missing the train or bus or appointment or whatever. But when you calm down, it dawns that waking at 720 is way better than sleeping till 8am.
But I’m not going to push the blame to someone else, like what Adam did, like what the world is doing today. The buck stops with me, but I am powerless by myself. I must remember to fall to God at all times. Being a man is a matter of choice and a lot of determination. It’s not easy because it’s a lot to ask for. He is there to point the direction, then to walk first towards it. To blaze the trail and pave the way, and then to ensure that those following are on their feet. Should any fall, he needs to stop to attend. At each point, God needs to be consulted. Go to God. When it’s the other way round, when the boss comes to the workfloor, you know its way out of your hands. And when anyone fails, he has got to be answerable.
That’s a tall order. No wonder guys are just happy being males, and never think of becoming men. Going there seems to be stretching myself more than I think I can bear. I have trouble taking care of one person (myself) what makes me think I can handle another? I really need the Holy Spirit. Me + God = we form the majority. For if God is on our side, who can be against us. Notice the word ‘US’.
There must be a togetherness before God comes in. Life is not a solo, single player game. It’s a multiplayer MMORPG. Its always on, always full of people, and always takes a long time to complete. The only difference between life and a game is the missing ‘restart’ button. There is a leader, but there must be someone to follow. And both must agree on the direction to walk, the distance to walk, and the speed of walking. We humans go by democracy but remember that God works by monarchy.
I need to stop hiding.

Living Stones

1 Peter 2:5
Present yourselves as building stones for the construction of a sanctuary vibrant with life, in which you'll serve as holy priests offering Christ-approved lives up to God.
(from THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language © 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.)
Read this and was reminded of my many trips to various old churches. On the floors of these buildings, one can find many tombstones, of famous people, of course, in the past. These could be politicians, royalty, influential businesspeople, great men of God, or anyone who is deemed to have contributed somewhat to society.
I know that what is true in the spirit is also manifested in the natural. When I walk into these old churches and see these plaques, stepping over these huge stone plates towards the alter, I’m filled with a sense of awe. These people have given so much in their generation, they sacrificed and led the way, making today possible. They were an integral part of the church then, and because the church still stands, I can now be found in it. What if they had not given? Would this church exist? Would the world be what we know of it today?
They were part of the spiritual church while alive, and when they are dead, becoming literally part of the physical church. Kind of weird to imagine holes in the church floor. What if this or that guy didn’t enter his calling? Holes in the floor and walls of the church. It’s almost like a sign to the current generation of church goers; look what the previous generation has done, now it’s your turn. Step over their dead bodies and seize the day.

Reward

Matt 6:16

16 And whenever you are fasting, do not look gloomy and sour and dreary like the hypocrites, for they put on a dismal countenance, that their fasting may be apparent to and seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full already.

Was on MSN the other day and heard of a complaint that someone was ‘self-promoting’ what he has done for the church, the ministry, oh the great sacrifices, yadda yadda… and this verse came straight to my head. There are all sorts of people in church. People with wrong motives, people trying to climb the ladder, people who want to feel overworked all the time by their leaders, and people who truly love God.

Matt 6:18

18 So that your fasting may not be noticed by men but by your Father, Who sees in secret; and your Father, Who sees in secret, will reward you in the open.

All those sorts of different people will work their heads off for the approval of man, and yes, they will get the approval of man. They will be rewarded with praises, opportunities, pity, admiration, whatever… from man. They are heaping up treasures that are redeemed on earth.

Matt 6:19-20

19 Do not gather and heap up and store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust and worm consume and destroy, and where thieves break through and steal.

20 But gather and heap up and store for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust nor worm consume and destroy, and where thieves do not break through and steal;

AMP

When I serve God, I want as few people to know as possible because I am a hoarder. I am hoarding treasures in heaven, glory tokens to be redeemed for a larger HDB in heaven, or maybe a golden road named after me. So when someone comes up to me and says ‘hey, I heard/saw you working hard in ministry the other day’, I go ‘drats, did I just lose a glory point in heaven?’

It has been said that this earthly life is a dress rehearsal for the real life in heaven. Would you rather be in golden robes during the play rehearsal and in rags up there, or vice versa? It’s just a momentary discomfort for an eternity of glory. Chose wisely.

receive

I think it’s important to be a receiver as much as a giver.

John 6:5-11
5 When Jesus therefore had lifted up his eyes, and seen that a very great multitude cometh to him, he said to Philip: Whence shall we buy bread, that these may eat?
6 And this he said to try him; for he himself knew what he would do.
7 Philip answered him: Two hundred pennyworth of bread is not sufficient for them, that every one may take a little.
8 One of his disciples, Andrew, the brother of Simon Peter, saith to him:
9 There is a boy here that hath five barley loaves, and two fishes; but what are these among so many?
10 Then Jesus said: Make the men sit down. Now there was much grass in the place. The men therefore sat down, in number about five thousand.
11 And Jesus took the loaves: and when he had given thanks, he distributed to them that were set down. In like manner also of the fishes, as much as they would.
Douay-Rheims

When we read Bible passages like that, at least I, would like to imagine myself as the different characters, how would they feel? Would I say the same lines they said? Would I do differently? In this story, I like to imagine myself as that boy with the filet-o-fish. Because the little boy gets to come face to face with the disciples and Jesus, to stare up at them from his lowly stature, listening to them debating and jostling around. Because when Jesus gave thanks, I want to believe He not only thanked God above, but also the boy for sharing his dinner. Imagine Jesus smiling and bending down, saying ‘Thank you for sharing your dinner with me’, and then performing that miracle, from two filet-o-fish, there was suddenly 4, then 8, 16, 32!
Wow, that was MY bread and fish, and Jesus took it and made a miracle out of it. I could see it suddenly magically multiplying! I was thinking Jesus would eat it up himself and I would go hungry, but now I got to explain to mum why I’m coming back home with a basket of 10 loaves and 4 fish. I didn’t think much of that dinner; I thought it was a boring routine meal, but Jesus made something extraordinary out of the mundane.
If Jesus can do that with my dinner, what can he do through me? What if I gave my toys to him, or daddy’s saw, or mummy’s needles, or uncle’s boat? What if I give all I have? What will that gift do?
Jesus received my small gift and made it great. It made me believe in myself, that I am an asset to him, a resource. Thank you for accepting me.

Can you imagine the story of this young lad if Jesus had turned away from him, scorned by the little basket? How would the story turn out? And so sometimes, when you receive from someone, you are in fact giving him something much more precious.

every good work

I was somehow reminded of this joke on the train back from work, don’t ask how or why:

Mother: Son, why is your little brother crying? You got to learn to play with him, to give and take.

Son: Yes mother, I did as you advised; I took his apple and gave him a punch.

This world today is all about getting, about accumulating, wealth management, hoarding, national reserves. We are all too familiar with moth and rust, and devaluation. But man, being man, is a selfish being. We see ourselves at the center of this universe. We think of the gains of owning the whole world, neglecting our souls.

Christianity teaches us to give. Give of your best to your master, give of the strength of your youth – the hymn rings. But many have forgot about the receiving part. Oh! You should look at the giver, not the gift. Don’t be materialistic.

But if you only gave, and never receive, you will dry out in no time. The only way to keep on giving is to keep on receiving. That’s why there are investments, hoarding and reserves. I do it because one day God will say to me: do this good work. Will I say ‘ok’, and write a cheque, or ‘erm, God, you meant to say 3 zeros less?’

2 Cor 9:8

8 And God is able to make all grace (every favor and earthly blessing) come to you in abundance, so that you may always and under all circumstances and whatever the need be self-sufficient [possessing enough to require no aid or support and furnished in abundance for every good work and charitable donation].

AMP

I refuse to stay poor my whole life. I want to write that thousand dollar grant, or tens of thousands, or hundreds of thousands. To the orphan child’s education, to the homeless shelter, to the missionary’s healthcare insurance.

And when I am equipped materially and spiritually, what a force that would be!

2 Tim 3:16-17

16 Every scripture [is] divinely inspired, and profitable for teaching, for conviction, for correction, for instruction in righteousness;

17 that the man of God may be complete, fully fitted to every good work.

Darby